Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
