yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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