Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize