no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
