He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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