I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
