yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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