I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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