Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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