real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
