The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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