Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i love accidental penises.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
