just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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