I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
