she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
