at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
