butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
