areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
