The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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