I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
