"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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