OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
