My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
