can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
