...so i touched it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
