Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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