Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
