You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
