who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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