if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
