Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
