I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
