There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
