Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
