i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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