So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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