Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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