I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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