I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
