We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
