ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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