Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
