batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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