I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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