That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
