I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
