Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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