it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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