she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
