hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
