I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
