the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
