Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
