She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize