Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We smell like vodka and hangover
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