Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
