Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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