I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
