yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
being pregnant is like rehab
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
