i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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