the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
