party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
