You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I see more hoeing in ur future
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