vagina is talking i cant
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
