I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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