I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she peed on how many people?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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