it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
